Masters of the Irish Exit
25 things the world needs to know about introverts
In a look at me! world, it’s a struggle being an introvert.
What follows are some thoughts on my experience, as someone who lands near the extreme end of the introversion scale.
We crave time alone.
Good things happen when we abide in solitude. We read, think, write, and pursue our hobbies and interests. We rest and recuperate from the noisy world.
We are sensitive.
Some of us have sensory issues that are aggravated by too much noise, lights, and busyness. We are usually empathic and pick up on vibes. Being around people can be exhausting.
We often have a special connection with animals and children.
Kids and animals sense introverts can be trusted and tend to gravitate toward us. Or maybe it’s the other way around?
We are deep thinkers.
All that solitude gives us time to think our own thoughts and come up with our own ideas. If you ask us what we think about something, be prepared for a well thought out discourse.
We actually do like people.
Sometimes. Certain people. In small doses. Don’t take it personally, it’s just how we are wired. Extroverts get energy by being around people, but introverts get energy by being alone.
We are selective with our friends.
To an introvert, four quarters is better than a hundred pennies. We are the most loyal friend you will ever have. If you are blessed with an introvert for a friend, you have a rare gift.
We have a rich interior world.
Introverts tend to not talk much, because we are so occupied with our thoughts. Boredom doesn’t exist for us because we’re consumed with our inner life.
We feel guilty if we squish a spider.
Even if it’s totally necessary.
We may come across as snobs but we aren’t snobs.
We are just intensely shy, socially anxious, awkward or some combination of the three. It’s not easy for us to socialize and we will sometimes duck out of conversations in a less than graceful way. It’s not meant to be a slight.
We often have exceptional skills.
Introverts make time to develop our interests. We follow our curiosity where it leads, and that takes us to some surprising places. Some of us are experts in our chosen field. If something sparks our interest, we are highly dedicated to learning everything about it.
We feel things deeply.
We don’t always show our emotions outwardly, but an introvert has intense feelings. We just prefer to deal with them in our own way, and on our own time, instead of for the world to see.
We loathe the spotlight.
Introverts don’t usually talk about our achievements. Though we might be extremely accomplished in multiple realms, we prefer to keep this knowledge to ourselves - we don’t thrive on kudos from others, and we don’t want the attention. We are allergic to tooting our own horns and prefer to leave the spotlight for the extroverts of the world.
We can be a bit rigid.
Due to our capacity to plan ahead, we tend to not be spontaneous. Flexibility doesn’t come naturally, but it’s a skill that can be developed.
We harbour fears.
Our extreme shyness covers up a fear of being rejected, being judged, being ridiculed, committing a social faux pas, or not being good enough. Sometimes, our fears lead us to being perfectionists. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that most introverts deal with anxiety at least to some extent.
We don’t conform.
Often we have our way of doing things, and it doesn’t necessarily coincide with what society wants of us. We also don’t usually have a desire to fit in. We know we are different and as we get older, we find ways to honour that, even if it goes against the culture.
We might not answer the phone.
We might not answer the door. We just have to do things when we have the energy and capacity. If an introvert calls you back or visits you, know that you are loved.
We need time to process.
Time in solitude helps us sort things out. We may not know how we feel about something that happened, how to react, or what to do next, until we’ve had time for it to filter through our system.
We see things from a new angle.
Our perspective can be quite different, and some people find it refreshing. We will rarely offer our thoughts though, so if you’re curious what we think, ask. We often have an interesting way of looking at things.
We need order.
Chaos and disorder doesn’t work for us. We need an orderly exterior in order to focus fully on our fascinating interior. Distractions are unhelpful.
We don’t do crowds.
Please don’t ask us to go to the farmers market or the music festival or the parade or any of that. Will there be people? Then the answer is no, thank you.
We crave time in nature.
Nature is healing and soothing for us. It’s a way to drown out the noise and fast pace of the modern world, and connect to the earth. It makes us feel safe.
We are open minded and like to learn.
Most of us are curious and hold our opinions lightly. We have cultivated a Beginner's Mind, and are open to new ideas and information.
We are good listeners.
We enjoy stimulating conversation with interesting people, and you will likely find us asking questions and listening for the answers, instead of talking about ourselves.
We often communicate better in writing.
For some introverts, finding the words in conversation can be challenging. We might have contributions to make, but have trouble speaking up or interjecting. Writing gives us an avenue to think deliberately and express ourselves clearly.
We dread the grocery store.
Enough said.
I hope this gives the extroverts among us a bit of insight into what it’s like to be introverted. And for the introverts, I hope you feel a little less weird, and a little more understood.
Even though some days it feels like a struggle being introverted in a noisy world, it is more of a gift than a hindrance. Our strengths complement the extroverts’ weaknesses, and vice versa - we bring balance to each other.
If you are an introverted soul, I encourage you to embrace who you are and thrive. Be yourself. The world needs you, and your way of being.
Are #8 and #25 just me?
If you’re introverted, where do you see yourself on the scale of introversion from mild to extreme? How do you think being introverted has impacted your life?
Have you learned to accept yourself as you are?
Haha good to know I’m not alone! Thanks for reading, Mike.
I have never had to squish a spider.