Cultivating is a magical word, conjuring up images of green growing things in a garden or field. Someone had to intentionally plant and nurture them in order for them to grow. And then at some point, the innate life force of the plants took over and they flourished.
Learning to become aware is like that. As with any other habit, it requires nurturing to get firmly rooted.
We start with practicing the skill of mindfulness, which is simply learning to be here, now. Building up to moment by moment awareness can take a lifetime of practice. Our minds prefer to guide us down back alleys and side streets of elsewhen instead of staying present.
Something as simple as a mindfulness practice can take us to great depths if we choose to dive in. But even if we stay at surface level and just work at being here, now, we reap the benefits.
Once we integrate mindfulness into our being, awareness becomes second nature. Being consistently present lends itself nicely to the art of becoming fully conscious of our thoughts, words and actions. Recording our observations in a journal will help us take note of what we find. We become curious about our experience and what might be prompting us to act in ways that are counterproductive or even self-sabotaging.
Most of us are running subconscious programming and unless we wake up, we are unable to become everything we are capable of: the wise leader, the compassionate parent, the humble citizen, or the selfless spouse. Without cultivating awareness, we are doomed to repeat self-destructive patterns. We may even be re-enacting generational or cultural conditioning. Without awareness, there is no way to escape the endless loop of suffering.
Awareness is the precursor to awakening. By simply noticing our thoughts, our minds, other people, and the world, we have the chance to become awake.
When we are able to wake up and see our behaviour clearly, we are more than halfway to a solution. By cultivating awareness, we also engender the willingness to change. Then it’s simply a matter of acquiring the right tools that will take us where we want to go.
If we don’t like the results we are getting in our lives, we need to be willing to dig deep enough to examine the thought process behind all that we do. That’s the source of everything - not other people, not our surroundings - there is nobody and nothing else to blame. Our thoughts create our words and deeds which lead to outcomes. We might still be functioning by the operating system originally installed during our childhood, and it’s time for an upgrade. It’s not just the things we think, it’s the whole paradigm and perspective we are coming from; it’s our perceptions and interpretations and our subconscious beliefs.
It can be disorienting, even frightening, when we first become conscious that we are being controlled by forces we don’t understand. And what’s more, these forces are internal. True autonomy is not just living how we please, but living in alignment with our core values. If being the best parent we can be is one of our values, yet we continue to belittle our children and inflict emotional pain on them, then something isn’t adding up. It’s our programming.
We must take accountability. We can’t throw our hands in the air and say that’s just the way we were raised, there’s nothing we can do about it. All we can truthfully say is that we aren’t willing to do anything about it, because we haven’t yet become aware.
It takes deep examination of our life from all angles to discern if we’re heading in the right direction. Shaking off all that conditioning and programming is a gargantuan task which takes time, patience and persistence.
Start by noticing your life. Observe what’s happening. Awareness is the harbinger of change.
Here are a few thoughts on practicing mindfulness:
Notice the information you are taking in with your senses. Label it - contextualize what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. Don’t attach a judgement or opinion, simply notice what is there.
Slow down. If you are eating, really savour the taste of your food. Chew it many more times than you think is necessary. Notice the feeling of being satiated. If you are walking, take out your earbuds and look around you. Say hi to passersby. Notice sensory details - literally smell the roses. You can do this with whatever task is at hand.
Ground yourself. Go outside to an area of sand or grass, and take off your shoes. Feel the earth with your feet. Sit down and spend some time - you are an alive being, touching the planet. Be amazed.
To stay in the present moment, note to yourself what you’re doing. It might seem silly, but repeating to yourself I’m washing the dishes, I’m washing the dishes, will help you stay in the moment and enjoy the task at hand, even when performing routine chores.
If you are experiencing physical pain, perhaps a headache or backache, try to sit with the pain and stay present with it. Our instinct is to push it aside or cover it up. Our bodies try to get our attention with physical pain from time to time. Do you need to rest? Do you need to take better care of your health? Ask the pain what it is trying to show you. This works equally well for emotional pain.
Simply do the task in front of you. That’s all you ever have to do. Don’t worry about what comes next - put it right out of your mind. When you are able to focus on what you’re doing now, you are more able to access the flow state, and your work becomes a pleasure.
As we learn to cultivate simple awareness, we find we’re enjoying life more. The days don’t whizz by at light-speed because we cease rushing around in a panicked whirlwind. We have taken a step toward becoming more of a human being and less of a human doing.
Are you striving toward cultivating deeper awareness?
Have you incorporated mindfulness practice in your day-to-day life?
If you have experimented with these tools or others, please share your experience in the comments below.
This is a nice little guide to mindfulness. I love walking and running on the sand and stones on the beach near me - this is why. Thanks for writing I will link to this in my Sunday round up.
Simply do the task in front of you.
Not so simple, and yet it is!