Happiness By Subtraction

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

Our culture has pummelled the idea into us that in order to be happy, we need to add more. More friends, more money, more stuff, more vacations, more promotions, more square footage, more horsepower, you name it.

Utter garbage. 

As a society, we are more anxious and depressed than we’ve ever been. We find ourselves caught on the hamster wheel, having to earn more to pay for the stuff we’ve acquired - stuff that we don’t have time to use because we are at work. 

We don’t have to give away all of our possessions and become monks in order to arrive at happiness. But a little subtraction might help. 

Our timeline is finite and rapidly running out. Most of us would prefer to be happier in the time we have remaining, but we chase empty things that don’t lead to happiness.

Here are a few thoughts on what is subject to subtraction:

1. Your Calendar

Stop saying yes to obligations that you don’t want to commit to. Be brutally honest with yourself and carve up your calendar. Cancel anything you don’t want to do. Say no to new obligations that come along to impose themselves on you. A wise person once told me don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Best life hack ever.

2. Your Clutter

Even the most organized soul harbours clutter somewhere. Your trouble spot may be your car, your desk, your office, your bedroom, your closet, or your kitchen. Or it may be all of that and then some. Tackle the clutter that’s stealing your space and destroying your focus. You know what you need to do: trash, recycle, donate, or sell as much as possible. Get down to a clean slate.

3. Your Finances

Get a handle on your financial life. If you have not been paying attention, it might take some time - no shame, no blame about the past - but get after it now. Once you have a complete picture of what comes in and what goes out, what you own and what you owe, then you can see what needs to be addressed. Stop the outflow of money going to things you don’t need or don’t use. Divert funds to your future self. Simplify your finances - make things easy to track and take care of.

4. Toxic People

Set firm boundaries or remove these people from your life entirely. You will realize how severely they’ve been draining your energy once they cease to do so. It’s the kind of happiness game changer you’ll wish you did years ago.

5. Your Free Time

No judgement here - this is unique to each individual. If you like how you spend your time, keep it up! But if you find yourself watching endless hours of Netflix or doom scrolling or engaging in arguments with strangers on the internet, it’s possible you could be utilizing your time in a way that will better serve you. Notice how you feel during and after the activity - it’s a clue about whether you want to stop.

6. Your Addictions

Some are more destructive than others - from consuming sugar to opioids, from overdoing internet use to exercise, from binging on alcohol to junk food. Whatever you feel compelled to do, often to excess, and it makes you feel out of control and guilty, is an addiction. Addictions are a pit of human misery. You will know if and when it’s time to move on and begin recovery.

7. Advice

Stop seeking advice from the people around you. You have an inner knowing and connection to your intuition. The wisdom of your gut gets clouded by other people’s opinions. Go ahead and ask advice if you feel unsure about a decision but then take time alone to think and process. Listen to and trust yourself above anyone else.

8. Time Impositions

You don’t have to answer unknown callers. You don’t have to politely listen to telemarketers. You don’t have to answer the door to the religious folks trying to convert you. You don’t have to spend more time chit-chatting with your neighbour than you can afford to. You don’t have to do favours that you really don’t want to do. There is a reason the word “no” was invented. Use it. Refuse to be hijacked.

9. Your Inbox

Detox your inbox from the daily landslide of emails. Deal with everything you can right away. File the things you need to keep for reference. Unsubscribe from email lists that no longer serve you. Delegate. Your inbox should only contain items that are still in progress. Get rid of the rest and breathe a sigh of relief.

10. The News

Does the news make you feel out of control, hopeless and depressed? Is there anything you can do about any of it? You can live without ever reading or watching the news. If something happens that’s truly earth shattering, or will affect you personally, someone will tell you. Save yourself a metric tonne of anxiety and avoid the news.

11. Your Closet

Most closets are chock-full of decisions to make. If your wardrobe is so abundant that it stresses you out, pare it down. You only wear 20% of your clothes anyway. Just keep that 20% and getting dressed in the morning becomes a stress-free breeze.

12. Your Apps

Go through your apps and delete everything you don’t use. Turn off notifications as much as possible. Organize each page and group like apps together. One page for financial apps, one for social media apps (if you must), and so forth.

Experiment, and take away a few things that are impeding happiness. 

Removing excess clothes from your closet and streamlining your finances will not automatically make you happier. Performing a few simple tasks won’t “fix” you, but without the deadweight dragging you down, you will begin to gravitate toward the ideal future you want to create.

Subtraction may just be the kind of math that adds up to happiness.

Did one of these ideas resonate in particular?

Have you experienced a boost in happiness due to subtracting something from your life?

If adding things to your life equals happiness for you, what are those things?