This has become a real issue for me as well. I’ve gotten rid of all social media except Notes, but still need to do better. My creativity is writing, so I need to power through to not flipping over to browser etc. when creative writing.
It's been a bit of a process. I didn't really do a detox, just slowly been whittling them down. I just resigned as the admin of a FB group, and haven't been there in a long time. Got rid of Instagram a while ago, and don't post on TikTok or really watch anymore. Pretty much, just Notes here now. Some people don't consider it social media, but I do.
Honestly, I still have more work to do. Even though all the apps are off my phone... I read Deep Work a while ago, and the author said something like, "The people doing the detox spend a lot of time scrolling weather" lol. That kind of sounds like me.
Overall, having brought it down about 75% at this point, I've definitely been getting more writing done. Once I get to 90% I think I'll start seeing some real results. Thanks for the post, Amy!! (and sorry I wrote a book here haha)
No sorry required, I love the book! I’m so curious about what other people’s experiences are like. Thanks for sharing Adam, and I hope getting to 90% goes smoothly.
Thank you, Amy, for that great reminder. As I was born in the 70’s, I’ve lived most of my life without a smart phone and it is not a problem for me to shut mine off regularly, especially when I write my posts and books. Nevertheless, I’ve noticed that one of the things people don’t do anymore is get bored for, as soon as they have a minute to do « nothing » ahead of them, they pull out their screens, and it’s a catastrophe for creativity is linked to boredom, that « empty » moment when you ask yourself « OK, what’s next? » or when you mind wanders and hits a new idea.
As I wrote in one of my websites a few weeks ago, as absurd as this example is meant to sound, if Thomas Edison had spent his days scrolling on a screen rather than searching for an idea to create the electric bulb, we would all still be lighting our homes with candles! Lots of love.
Great insights Geraldine! Without boredom, there would be so much less creativity and inventiveness in the world. Our phones do an excellent job of stifling boredom - but that’s not a good thing. I think more of us are starting to question our attachment to technology and what we are swapping it for in our lives. Thank you for your comment!
I couldn't agree more. And yet it can be so difficult to do! These things are made to be addictive, which is why so many of us struggle with it. Our brain loves fast dopamine. It also loves slow dopamine but that takes a lot more effort.
I know, I help people to retrain their brain for a living. What I call 'slow' dopamine would be: socializing with loved ones, exercise, helping others, meditation, practicing gratitude etc. I made an entire infographic about it which I'm sending to my subscribers, but I can send it to you now if you like?
Yes yes yes. Phones are like drugs. You don't do drugs, drugs do you. I 100% am on my phone more than I want to be. Thank you for talking about this. Thank you for challenging us to do better. The magic of life all happens outside of our screens. 🙏🏼💛
They are little dopamine dispensing machines. 😩 We can all aim to do better but it’s an uphill battle against the tech giants who earn gobs of money by addicting us 😭
Very relatable. I found my way here to Substack about a week ago as I've started disengaging from other social media. I started having that feeling you get when you've eaten so much of something that the very idea of it makes you vaguely nauseous when I used my phone or social media.
The zombie comparison is apt as well. If you've ever been the person without your phone, it is very much like being in a zombie dystopia where there are people around you but they're not exactly there. I think that actually drives a lot of people into their phones. Sitting with someone engrossed in their screen feels somehow more lonely than sitting alone. I've experienced it, in fact I can pretty clearly remember sitting at a dinner table and deciding to just start looking at my phone too because it was better than sitting there "alone". Now I am just trying to preoccupy myself with other things like reading books, etc.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so eloquently. The idea for this piece came from seeing a family of four (two teens) sitting at a restaurant table, all staring at their phones. It’s become commonplace, we are living virtual lives. I think a revolution is coming.
A month or so ago I was on a walk and passed this baby in a stroller. They were watching something on a phone, totally engrossed, and holding that phone like an adult. They could probably hold that phone better than they could walk. It really stuck with me. I think that’s when I really started thinking about how unhealthy this has all become. It doesn’t feel good anymore. It’s not fun. And I think you’re right, I think a lot of people are becoming disenchanted with it and looking for something more fulfilling.
I have a rule: During an in-person meeting with me, there can be no cell phone, or I walk away (I'm pretty ruthless about this)
Digital life has sucked the humanity out of us, if we had any left after the dot-com boom of the 2000s. We have become phones ourselves. How long has it been since you made a phone call because you had Face-Time or WhatsApp? How long has it been since you made a spontaneous visit to a friend or loved one without having your cell phone with you? How many times have you talked to someone in person for 2 or 3 hours without thinking about your phone, your email, your blog, or your DMs? I don't know what you think, but I think our capacity for merely human relationships has been narrowing, if not disintegrating.
We have stopped thinking and feeling like a person, because we have learned to think and feel like a user.
The phone allows us to ignore, humiliate, ghost, block, and all for free, with impunity. The phone "keeps us together" without us having to be. It keeps us "informed" without us having to acquire knowledge. The internet, the phone, the notification makes us feel less alone when we are more isolated from our own nature. We are no longer human, we are already an extension of technology, which experiences itself in us.
It is scary where we have come to. And even scarier is that these are modern issues, that is, we brought the worst of ourselves into the digital world, and we are paying the consequences of being simply human, ceasing to be so.
I have not tried throwing pots. Yet. :) I definitely do remember life pre-phone-tethering. I remember driving home from college in Indiana to Connecticut and just calling my parents (collect) and saying “I’m leaving at 7pm and driving through the night, see you for breakfast”. And that was it. Now? That would never happen. It feels like screens and phones are such a crutch or a replacement somehow. Not sure. I like the ditching of the phone idea - going to try that.
You’re right! That would never happen now. Our phones are supposed to make us feel more connected, but it seems like they actually increase anxiety. Let me know how it goes if you experiment with it!
And put the things away when you’re outside enjoying the natural world (unless you’re taking a photo or you need the gps map app, but frankly, I’ve never gotten lost on a hike when using a paper topo map with marked trails and miles). Years ago we had just summited Mt. Lassen (10,457’) only to hear some guy calling everyone in his contacts in Manhattan (apparently he was on vacation from NYC), bragging he’d just bagged a dormant volcano.
I agree, nature is a sacred space and the last thing we need to do is be on our phones. I am definitely guilty of taking pictures though…it’s lighter to carry than a camera. 😉
Great reminder Michael, thank you. And that summit sounds like an amazing accomplishment!
the first step for me was just being aware it was a problem - seeing the screen time each week was a real eye-opener.
but it's also important not to blame ourselves- as Dr Anders Hasen says "it's like a casino in our pockets". It's human nature to be tempted into this concentrated stimulant.
So acknowledge the problem, be kind to yourself and then start working on a fix!
I read somewhere it helps to keep a tally of everything you open your phone without meaning to - slowly conditioning yourself to stop.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Eren and you’re absolutely right. Awareness and acceptance are the first steps toward change. Our phones are dopamine machines, it’s not our fault that we got into this state, but it is our responsibility now to take the reins.
I agree, phones have taken over our lives to a scary degree. It sounds like you’ve put some helpful boundaries in place. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
This has become a real issue for me as well. I’ve gotten rid of all social media except Notes, but still need to do better. My creativity is writing, so I need to power through to not flipping over to browser etc. when creative writing.
Hey Adam, how was it getting rid of all other social media? I imagine after the initial detox it helped you be able to focus more on your priorities?
It's been a bit of a process. I didn't really do a detox, just slowly been whittling them down. I just resigned as the admin of a FB group, and haven't been there in a long time. Got rid of Instagram a while ago, and don't post on TikTok or really watch anymore. Pretty much, just Notes here now. Some people don't consider it social media, but I do.
Honestly, I still have more work to do. Even though all the apps are off my phone... I read Deep Work a while ago, and the author said something like, "The people doing the detox spend a lot of time scrolling weather" lol. That kind of sounds like me.
Overall, having brought it down about 75% at this point, I've definitely been getting more writing done. Once I get to 90% I think I'll start seeing some real results. Thanks for the post, Amy!! (and sorry I wrote a book here haha)
No sorry required, I love the book! I’m so curious about what other people’s experiences are like. Thanks for sharing Adam, and I hope getting to 90% goes smoothly.
Thank you, Amy, for that great reminder. As I was born in the 70’s, I’ve lived most of my life without a smart phone and it is not a problem for me to shut mine off regularly, especially when I write my posts and books. Nevertheless, I’ve noticed that one of the things people don’t do anymore is get bored for, as soon as they have a minute to do « nothing » ahead of them, they pull out their screens, and it’s a catastrophe for creativity is linked to boredom, that « empty » moment when you ask yourself « OK, what’s next? » or when you mind wanders and hits a new idea.
As I wrote in one of my websites a few weeks ago, as absurd as this example is meant to sound, if Thomas Edison had spent his days scrolling on a screen rather than searching for an idea to create the electric bulb, we would all still be lighting our homes with candles! Lots of love.
Great insights Geraldine! Without boredom, there would be so much less creativity and inventiveness in the world. Our phones do an excellent job of stifling boredom - but that’s not a good thing. I think more of us are starting to question our attachment to technology and what we are swapping it for in our lives. Thank you for your comment!
Thanks for the invitation to spend less time on my phone and more time creating, playing, and spending time with myself and those I love.
Thanks for reading and I appreciate your comment, Ryan. It really is an invitation for all of us, and I need the reminder more than anybody.
I'm in the same boat, having banned myself from doing two things simultaneously, like eating and scrolling. Discipline to both of us.
I couldn't agree more. And yet it can be so difficult to do! These things are made to be addictive, which is why so many of us struggle with it. Our brain loves fast dopamine. It also loves slow dopamine but that takes a lot more effort.
Retraining our brains is not an easy process. What are some ways we can achieve slow dopamine, Maggie?
I know, I help people to retrain their brain for a living. What I call 'slow' dopamine would be: socializing with loved ones, exercise, helping others, meditation, practicing gratitude etc. I made an entire infographic about it which I'm sending to my subscribers, but I can send it to you now if you like?
I’ll subscribe!
That works too haha ❤️
Yes yes yes. Phones are like drugs. You don't do drugs, drugs do you. I 100% am on my phone more than I want to be. Thank you for talking about this. Thank you for challenging us to do better. The magic of life all happens outside of our screens. 🙏🏼💛
They are little dopamine dispensing machines. 😩 We can all aim to do better but it’s an uphill battle against the tech giants who earn gobs of money by addicting us 😭
Very relatable. I found my way here to Substack about a week ago as I've started disengaging from other social media. I started having that feeling you get when you've eaten so much of something that the very idea of it makes you vaguely nauseous when I used my phone or social media.
The zombie comparison is apt as well. If you've ever been the person without your phone, it is very much like being in a zombie dystopia where there are people around you but they're not exactly there. I think that actually drives a lot of people into their phones. Sitting with someone engrossed in their screen feels somehow more lonely than sitting alone. I've experienced it, in fact I can pretty clearly remember sitting at a dinner table and deciding to just start looking at my phone too because it was better than sitting there "alone". Now I am just trying to preoccupy myself with other things like reading books, etc.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so eloquently. The idea for this piece came from seeing a family of four (two teens) sitting at a restaurant table, all staring at their phones. It’s become commonplace, we are living virtual lives. I think a revolution is coming.
A month or so ago I was on a walk and passed this baby in a stroller. They were watching something on a phone, totally engrossed, and holding that phone like an adult. They could probably hold that phone better than they could walk. It really stuck with me. I think that’s when I really started thinking about how unhealthy this has all become. It doesn’t feel good anymore. It’s not fun. And I think you’re right, I think a lot of people are becoming disenchanted with it and looking for something more fulfilling.
A baby! That’s truly sad.
I have a rule: During an in-person meeting with me, there can be no cell phone, or I walk away (I'm pretty ruthless about this)
Digital life has sucked the humanity out of us, if we had any left after the dot-com boom of the 2000s. We have become phones ourselves. How long has it been since you made a phone call because you had Face-Time or WhatsApp? How long has it been since you made a spontaneous visit to a friend or loved one without having your cell phone with you? How many times have you talked to someone in person for 2 or 3 hours without thinking about your phone, your email, your blog, or your DMs? I don't know what you think, but I think our capacity for merely human relationships has been narrowing, if not disintegrating.
We have stopped thinking and feeling like a person, because we have learned to think and feel like a user.
The phone allows us to ignore, humiliate, ghost, block, and all for free, with impunity. The phone "keeps us together" without us having to be. It keeps us "informed" without us having to acquire knowledge. The internet, the phone, the notification makes us feel less alone when we are more isolated from our own nature. We are no longer human, we are already an extension of technology, which experiences itself in us.
It is scary where we have come to. And even scarier is that these are modern issues, that is, we brought the worst of ourselves into the digital world, and we are paying the consequences of being simply human, ceasing to be so.
I have not tried throwing pots. Yet. :) I definitely do remember life pre-phone-tethering. I remember driving home from college in Indiana to Connecticut and just calling my parents (collect) and saying “I’m leaving at 7pm and driving through the night, see you for breakfast”. And that was it. Now? That would never happen. It feels like screens and phones are such a crutch or a replacement somehow. Not sure. I like the ditching of the phone idea - going to try that.
You’re right! That would never happen now. Our phones are supposed to make us feel more connected, but it seems like they actually increase anxiety. Let me know how it goes if you experiment with it!
And put the things away when you’re outside enjoying the natural world (unless you’re taking a photo or you need the gps map app, but frankly, I’ve never gotten lost on a hike when using a paper topo map with marked trails and miles). Years ago we had just summited Mt. Lassen (10,457’) only to hear some guy calling everyone in his contacts in Manhattan (apparently he was on vacation from NYC), bragging he’d just bagged a dormant volcano.
I agree, nature is a sacred space and the last thing we need to do is be on our phones. I am definitely guilty of taking pictures though…it’s lighter to carry than a camera. 😉
Great reminder Michael, thank you. And that summit sounds like an amazing accomplishment!
This was a great read and so true. Thanks for the perspective.
Thank you for reading 😊
the first step for me was just being aware it was a problem - seeing the screen time each week was a real eye-opener.
but it's also important not to blame ourselves- as Dr Anders Hasen says "it's like a casino in our pockets". It's human nature to be tempted into this concentrated stimulant.
So acknowledge the problem, be kind to yourself and then start working on a fix!
I read somewhere it helps to keep a tally of everything you open your phone without meaning to - slowly conditioning yourself to stop.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Eren and you’re absolutely right. Awareness and acceptance are the first steps toward change. Our phones are dopamine machines, it’s not our fault that we got into this state, but it is our responsibility now to take the reins.
I agree, phones have taken over our lives to a scary degree. It sounds like you’ve put some helpful boundaries in place. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.