My son was born female and was always a "tomboy" wearing his brother's hand me down clothes. He had his girly moments too, playing with make up and wearing dresses. At age 8 he used to say he was half a boy. Later I found out it was because he figured he was a boy on the inside and a girl on the outside, so must be half a boy.
Puberty did a really number on him, however, and he fell into a depression. In 7th grade he came out as non-binary, and 8th grade as male. He's now 17 and so happy in his body. Gender affirming care literally saved his life.
Thanks for sharing Amy. It's important to share such personal stories as they start to slowly pick away at unhelpful stereotypes and prejudice in the world today. I'd like to share a link to this story in my newsletter on Sunday.
I love the way you have framed a name as a gift that a parent gives the child, and that sometimes gifts just aren't a fit. It doesn't have to mean a rejection of anyone or anything if it's not a fit. One of the hardest things for me as a trans person has been the way in which some people have taken my transition as a personal affront or a referendum on their choices. Thank you for modeling generous, loving support that centers your child in their transition, without making it about you.
I appreciate your comment, Keith. I admit I didn’t come out of the gate with purely generous thoughts and feelings - they were hard-won over time. It was a process for me to get there, as I think it is for a lot of parents. I’m so lucky my child was patient with me, and our mutual love and understanding carried us both through.
Yes, I can imagine it was a process (life itself is!). So glad for you both that you persevered. I didn't come out until I was 47, and neither of my parents were able to do what you have done before they died. It warms my heart to hear stories like yours <3
I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s not easy to overcome conditioning, but for the sake of our loved ones it’s always worth the effort. When I hear of people who are willing to discard their family members because of their ideologies, it makes me really sad. I wish you all the best in life going forward!
Thank you for your story. I have a trans family member and nothing was more important and joyous than seeing them flourish after coming out and receiving gender affirming care. I always wear my rainbow ally pin during Pride events, but now I’m wearing it daily so people know I’m safe to be around.
Thank you for writing this! In today's climate it's especially important to support transgender kids and all transgender people alike. I feel like society is slowly becoming more accepting and I'm hopeful for the future.
My son was born female and was always a "tomboy" wearing his brother's hand me down clothes. He had his girly moments too, playing with make up and wearing dresses. At age 8 he used to say he was half a boy. Later I found out it was because he figured he was a boy on the inside and a girl on the outside, so must be half a boy.
Puberty did a really number on him, however, and he fell into a depression. In 7th grade he came out as non-binary, and 8th grade as male. He's now 17 and so happy in his body. Gender affirming care literally saved his life.
It absolutely is life saving for many. I’m glad your son came through his journey safely and he has a supportive and loving son.
Thanks for sharing Amy. It's important to share such personal stories as they start to slowly pick away at unhelpful stereotypes and prejudice in the world today. I'd like to share a link to this story in my newsletter on Sunday.
I appreciate you saying that. I expected an onslaught of judgment and unsubscribes, but you are giving me hope.
Hope not. I think there are many decent, respectful and understanding people on the earth.
I agree. 💙
I love the way you have framed a name as a gift that a parent gives the child, and that sometimes gifts just aren't a fit. It doesn't have to mean a rejection of anyone or anything if it's not a fit. One of the hardest things for me as a trans person has been the way in which some people have taken my transition as a personal affront or a referendum on their choices. Thank you for modeling generous, loving support that centers your child in their transition, without making it about you.
I appreciate your comment, Keith. I admit I didn’t come out of the gate with purely generous thoughts and feelings - they were hard-won over time. It was a process for me to get there, as I think it is for a lot of parents. I’m so lucky my child was patient with me, and our mutual love and understanding carried us both through.
Yes, I can imagine it was a process (life itself is!). So glad for you both that you persevered. I didn't come out until I was 47, and neither of my parents were able to do what you have done before they died. It warms my heart to hear stories like yours <3
I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s not easy to overcome conditioning, but for the sake of our loved ones it’s always worth the effort. When I hear of people who are willing to discard their family members because of their ideologies, it makes me really sad. I wish you all the best in life going forward!
Thank you for your story. I have a trans family member and nothing was more important and joyous than seeing them flourish after coming out and receiving gender affirming care. I always wear my rainbow ally pin during Pride events, but now I’m wearing it daily so people know I’m safe to be around.
Thank you for sharing this! It’s a beautiful thing to see people flourish when they can truly be themselves.
Thank you for writing this! In today's climate it's especially important to support transgender kids and all transgender people alike. I feel like society is slowly becoming more accepting and I'm hopeful for the future.
You’re right, it’s so important to support trans folks. I’m hopeful society will become more accepting too. 💙