Equanimity

what it is and how to get it

Photo by Colton Duke on Unsplash

Keep your head when all about you are losing theirs. ~Rudyard Kipling

Most of us are familiar with the story of the Taoist farmer. This is a retelling by Alan Watts, as a refresher:

There was once a farmer in ancient China who owned a horse. “You are so lucky!” his neighbours told him, “to have a horse to pull the cart for you.” “Maybe,” the farmer replied.

One day he didn’t latch the gate properly and the horse ran off. “Oh no! This is terrible news!” his neighbours cried. “Such terrible misfortune!” “Maybe,” the farmer replied.

A few days later the horse returned, bringing with it six wild horses. “How fantastic! You are so lucky,” his neighbours told him. “Now you are rich!” “Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The following week the farmer’s son was breaking-in one of the wild horses when it kicked out and broke his leg. “Oh no!” the neighbours cried, “such bad luck, all over again!” “Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next day soldiers came and took away all the young men to fight in the war. The farmer’s son was left behind. “You are so lucky!” his neighbours cried. “Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The takeaway from the story is that we have no way of knowing whether events will ultimately be favourable or unfavourable, so there’s no sense getting worked up about everything.

Modes of Eastern thought (Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism) teach one to be equanimous. Equanimity can be defined as mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.

In a world designed to push our buttons, how do we achieve this?

The dual practices of mindfulness and meditation are core components to building our equanimity muscles.

Meditation teaches us to become the observer of our thoughts, to gain distance from the ongoing narrative in our minds, to simply become curious and watch what’s going on. Once we understand that we don’t have to believe every thought that passes through our mind, it translates to not reacting to everything that happens. Cultivating a clear mind allows us to be present for whatever is happening in any given moment, without having to judge it as good or bad.

Mindfulness works side by side with meditation to construct an equanimous nature. As we become more mindful - more present and observant - we realize there is rarely a need to intervene and take action. We can step back and have no opinion, or let things unfold as they will, without inserting ourselves where we don’t need to be. We gain distance from the desire to react. Training ourselves to live without reactivity is the foundation of wisdom.

It doesn’t mean we are always passive, letting life run over us, but we are discerning about when and where to take action.

Think of equanimity as the sky. The blue sky is ever present, whether it’s sunny or cloudy, day or night, winter or summer. No matter what temporary weather may come to cloud it, the sky is always in back of it. Nothing can ever change the eternal blue sky.

Over time, our practices of meditation and mindfulness lead us to being like the blue sky more often, not allowing the weather (circumstances) to cloud it.

Stoicism offers us the practice of the “view from above”. This is the mental exercise of zooming out - seeing ourselves from above, moving slowly out from above our house, neighbourhood, town, country, etc., until we are above the planet. This gives us the ability to see things from a global perspective, therefore we are able to see multiple valid viewpoints on any given issue. We can all benefit from cultivating a more broad perspective. Equanimity is about having that kind of balance, which gives way to compassion and peace.

Through a study of philosophy, coupled with contemplative practices, we begin to live in a space of non-attachment, where there is no aversion or desire for things or outcomes - like the Taoist farmer. We understand that our judgment of whether things are good or bad makes no difference to the impermanence of the situation.

Things, people, circumstances - they all arise, and then pass away - this is the nature of our impermanent existence. The only constant is change, and the ability to embrace that will add to our experience of equanimity.

We get one crack at this life - let’s live it in peace, like the Taoist farmer, by cultivating equanimity.

If this work enriched your life even a smidge, would you considering giving a modest tip?